


Requiem

by ChameleonCircuit



Category: Chicago Med
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, Established Relationship, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mourning, Rhodestead - Freeform, Spoilers for 4x21, episode tag: 4x21, set towards the end of 4x21
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 15:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18853954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChameleonCircuit/pseuds/ChameleonCircuit
Summary: Connor lifted his head with a shuddering gasp, taking a moment to focus as his eyes settled on Will. He opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a pained sort of gasp. In response, Will reached out for a tentative hug and was surprised when Connor all but collapsed against him, instantly pressing his face into Will’s shoulder as he sobbed in earnest.In all the time he’d known him, even in the two months they’d been seeing each other, Will had never seen Connor break like this. He was an open book of emotion, always, but he never allowed himself to lose it in front of anyone, not even Will, and his heart ached for him, for how hard this must be for him to come completely undone in front of someone.





	Requiem

**Author's Note:**

> this is an unbeta'd mess of word vomit cos I had some feelings following the latest episode

Will knocked lightly on the door to Cornelius Rhodes’ room before entering, more as a courtesy than anything else. His chest clenched, squeezing his heart at the sight of Connor hunched over his dad’s bed, body shaking with barely suppressed sobs.

“Connor?” He asked quietly, making his way over.

Connor lifted his head with a shuddering gasp, taking a moment to focus as his eyes settled on Will. He opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a pained sort of gasp. In response, Will reached out for a tentative hug and was surprised when Connor all but collapsed against him, instantly pressing his face into Will’s shoulder as he sobbed in earnest.

In all the time he’d known him, even in the two months they’d been seeing each other, Will had never seen Connor break like this. He was an open book of emotion, always, but he never allowed himself to lose it in front of anyone, not even Will, and his heart ached for him, for how hard this must be for him to come completely undone in front of someone.

Will didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say. He just held Connor against his chest, one hand cradling his head, the other running up and down his back gently until his sobs subsided to just the occasional hitch in his breath.

“Let’s go home,” He said quietly, pulling back a little to look at Connor, but Connor shook his head in response.

“I’m meeting Robin for dinner.”

“She’ll understand.”

Connor opened his mouth like he was going to speak, but nothing came out, and for a moment he just stood there looking completely blank before letting out a shuddering sigh. He ran a shaky hand through his hair before glancing back down at his father.

“I don’t...he was fine,” Connor choked out, sounding close to tears again. “He was going home tomorrow. He was fine. I don’t...I don’t understand.”

“He was sick,” Will supplied, stomach twisting with unease.

He had never been good at comfort, not verbally, anyway. He was good at physical comfort, at holding people, hugging people, calming people down, but he was never good with words. He never knew the right thing to say, and now, more than ever, that was startlingly obvious.

“He was fine,” Connor insisted, a hint of desperation in his tone. “He- he was fine.”

Will nodded, turning Connor back towards him, away from his father’s lifeless body.

“Let’s go home,” he repeated, taking Connor’s hand in his.

“I c- I can’t leave him,” Connor whimpered, his free hand resting on his father’s chest again.

Connor didn’t know where this need to stay was coming from. He knew it was irrational, and yet the thought of walking out that door, of leaving the hospital, leaving his father, felt somehow impossible.

Will sighed, not sure what else to do. He didn’t want to force Connor to do anything, but he was sure that standing here wasn’t helping. But then, he supposed, nothing would really help. He could still clearly remember the sting of losing his mother, and more recently his father. That ache doesn’t leave. It sits hollow in your chest, empty and dark, threatening to consume everything else with it. Sometimes you forget it’s there, but then you think of something you want to share with them or eat their favourite food, and suddenly that ache is unbearable again.

Will knew this, and he knew the conflict Connor must be feeling, too. His relationship with his father was just as rocky, if not more so than Will’s own, and he knew that only intensified the pain somehow, instead of easing it.

“You can’t do anything for him now,” Will whispered, running his thumb gently across Connor’s hand.

Connor turned to look at him, eyes desperate and pleading, large and full of tears again.

“I don’t know what to do,” he whispered shakily.

Will smiled sadly, swallowing the lump forming in his throat as he pulled Connor towards him again, cupping his face in his hands.

“I don’t know what to do either,” Will admitted. “There’s nothing I can do to ease the pain you’re feeling. There’s nothing you can do, either. You just have to...feel it. I’m sorry.”

Connor huffed a wet laugh, ducking his head. “Hypocritical of you.”

“What?” Will asked, confused and surprised in one hit.

“You, the master at burying how he feels, urging me to feel freely.”

Will laughed, shaking his head, “I never said I was a good role model.”

Connor glanced back at his dad again before swallowing hard, taking both of Will’s hands in his own.

“I--” Connor broke off with a choked sound, shaking his head.

He didn’t know how to put into words everything he was feeling. He trusted Will with every fiber of his being, even though they hadn’t been seeing each other long. But they weren’t there yet. He was terrified that if he put everything that had been going on into words that Will would leave him. He was so sure that Will was better than that, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to actually express any of it outwardly, fear freezing his brain, halting his words. It was a lot and he knew it, and he didn’t want to test the waters of a new relationship with something so heavy.

“I need to speak to Robin,” he settled on instead, offering Will a weak smile. “I just need...I need to talk to her.”

Will nodded, stomach sinking. He tried not to let it get to him, tried not to be jealous of the fact that Connor was clearly more willing to talk to his ex about his feelings than him, but the bitterness still swirled in his stomach anyway.

“Can I come over when I’m done? Bring dinner?” Connor asked tentatively, finally taking the first step away from his father and towards the door.

Will stopped in surprise, glancing at Connor out of the corner of his eye before continuing towards the door.

“Of course,” he said softly, some of that bitterness easing. “I can wait if you want. Give you a ride, go get dinner together?”

Connor stopped just outside the door, barely resisting the urge to look back through the window. Instead, he smiled at Will, as warm and genuine as he could muster with the ache in his chest, and leaned up to press a soft kiss to this lips.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

“I don’t mind.”

Connor felt a flicker of warmth in his chest at the soft look Will was giving him, and nodded.

“Okay,” he whispered, giving Will’s hand a small squeeze. “Thank you.”


End file.
